Change Of Venue
August 5th, 2009 · 6 Comments · Posted in Blog
Red Cottage on Casco Bay
I’m just recovering from 10 hours with my butt nailed to the seat of a rented Hyundai Sonata as we made our way from the District of Columbia to a small cottage on the shores of Casco Bay, Maine.
Having spent the last several months grinding away at two rather intense home improvement projects, leaving for vacation was like emerging into bright sunshine from a long, dark tunnel. A bit disorienting, but life-affirming.
My wife couldn’t wait. She was the chief architect, designer and superintendent of these projects. We left with the work mostly finished and with an image in my mind’s eye that seemed to sum up both the state of how these sorts of projects work out as well as relations between the sexes.
That would be the wood shims we fitted under the Ikea kitchen cabinet legs in order to level them for a granite countertop. In a 100-year-old house, things are seldom square or level. In this particular instance, one end of the kitchen floor is about an inch lower than the other.
I could have sworn that I had mentioned this to my wife on more than one occasion. It did explain why there was a piece of 3/4-inch plywood nailed to the floor–to raise the previous cabinetry. But somehow a full-blown conversation never ensued. Consequently, the Ikea cabinet legs, though adjustable, were never long enough, necessitating the cutting of plywood shims.
Later my wife informed me that she easily could have purchased longer legs–they come in at least three lengths, apparently–had I said something more explicitely. Needless to say, once the countertop was dropped into place, the t00-short legs became a permanent feature.
I mention this by way of relations between the sexes because it was hardly the sole instance of males falling short of my wife’s expectations. And since she was the designated chief contractor and supervisor, the irration was completely hers. It seems that men, in their perpetual need to shield a fragile ego, are never forthright enough or communicative enough with the opposite sex about potential problems.
My wife is not at all shy about pointing this out.
So after driving 10 hours to Maine, during which I had plenty of time to mull this over, I now believe it is time for men officially to retire. You see, my wife did a great job. It wasn’t always fun listening to her harrangues. But she was usually right: men screw up and usually refuse to acknowledge their mistakes. Many errors could be avoided if men paid better attention.
So let’s just face it: women are smarter. They can usually get things done better. We men should just pack it in.
In fact, I’m willing to bet that the whole world would be a better place if women came out from under their burkas and ran things the way they should be run.
Till tomorrow, and the next available computer at the Freeport Public Library, that’s my story and I’m sticking with it.
Marriage is certainly a challenge ain’t it? Perhaps you know this already but in the attempt to make you feel better, I will make an official announcement right here on your website straight out of a female’s mouth: women suck just as much as men! I hope your escape to Maine removes you from the general suckiness of it all…
I am not sure we would make the world a better place by running it, but I will say that I agree with your wife’s assessment: men are not as direct as they need to be with women about potential problems.
~KristenM
(AKA FoodRenegade)
Knowing your wife as I do, I can say she does
know alot about alot of things. But, I think if
she were married to a woman for the length of
time she’s been married to you, she’ld probably
be irritated by many of the same things. The
biggest frustration is that until recently, most
women on the planet were 2nd class citizens,
and in subtle and not so subtle ways we’re still
treated as such. So, when we are not listened
to, or men fail to communicate something, it’s
like a scab being picked, it can’t totally heal.
Or…..everything generally sucks?
Linda, I really am serious. I think men should hang it up and give the female species and chance to run things. Nothing sucky about it.
Kristen, I find that the same issues play out even on vacation. And since there are sometimes as many as four families involved, imagine the fun!
Kim, I’m going to let your comments stand without any further comment from me.